What a week....

This week has been exhausting C has been a mare for going to sleep, it has been taking sometimes up to two hours to get her to sleep, and it is so frustrating as she will scratch the mattress hit herself on the head with her Bun Bun and Moo Moo, keep getting out of bed telling me the gap in her door is not perfect that she needs a wee, or that she needs squash or the V Tech ceiling projector on her little chair is not in the right place!!!! aaarggghhhh is all I feel like screaming!!!!

She has a million excuses for not settling to go to sleep.

So this week I decided I had to try and do something drastic I stopped using the buggy, in the vain hope that it may make her more tired, on the days we go to nursery we walk to the bus stop which is a good 20 minute walk and on the way home from nursery we walk a good 20 mins and get off the bus and then a ten minute walk to get home.

C usually falls asleep in the buggy on the way home from nursery and I walk the 45 minute journey to get some exercise. I put C to bed while she is asleep, but this is a big problem as she sleeps for2 1/2 hours and then wakes up and it can take another 2 hours to get her back to sleep, it is almost like she uses this as the day time nap she does not have during the day any more.

Well the first day we did it at bed time C fretted for a short while in the chair in her bedroom had a couple of stories read to her and then asked to sleep on the floor, we laid down together and within 5 mins she was out cold, only waking once that night and then on Tuesday we had hell again and the week just continued like this, needless to say my eyes could now rival a pandas and I am getting more forgetful and ditsy by the Second (and for those who know me well, yes it possible)

On the days that she is not at nursery I try to make sure she is using as much energy as possible and trying to stick to a good routine, she does tend to take a nap during the day which is lovely and she does not do this at nursery, but it really effects her sleep and the enduring battle starts again.

My worry with C's sleeping issues is what effect the lack of sleep is having on her, she still seems very happy keen and eager, she still whizz's around at a million miles an hour, but does constantly tell the hubby and I that she is tired and will flake at various times in day for a period of time to sit quietly. Her eyes look purple and she looks like she has bruising across her nose and as a fairly pale child this stands out quite a bit. We both look a completely state at the moment both so tired.

But the week also had it's big upside, I won two clients for my cupcake business, and did some work for TJ at Bras for Mums at the Baby show in London which was really good fun it helped that I had a good friend by my side! and I got meet some lovely Mums who I now have have contact with on twitter

Through this work I was given a baby sling to try it takes children from newborn to a child up to 35lb and I have been using it. C was delighted by it, and really enjoyed the face to face conversations we have been able to have while walking and she seems really comfortable.

I feel like all I do and speak about at the moment is C's sleeping issues and how tired I am, I am a mum on the edge. I promise my next blog will be lighter and fun

Until next week xxx

Sorry this is a mushy one!!

Well I am a little late on getting this out this week, mainly due to the fact that little C and I have had horrid colds. With C being completely wiped out, loosing her voice and having a throat infection. But enough about that I really want to tell you the following:

I had one those moments with little C this week that I will always remember and cherish, where I realised that I am not a bad or useless mother!!! I went out for the first time leaving my daughter with a babysitter from nursery (she was amazing but it was the first time she had sat for me) and went out on my best friends hen do, while my hubby was on the stag do in Manchester. Never before have we been apart in separate cities and left our daughter in the care of someone else.

It was a little tough getting out the house making everyone late for our meal, C was very aware I was going out and totally thrown by the fact a nursery staff member was in our house.

When I arrived home slightly tipsy at the ungodly hour of wait for it ...... 12:30pm, I am not a huge drinker due to my medication and I let my hair down a little to much, my gorgeous little C padded down the hallway at 1:20 in the morning calling out "Mummy where are you I need you" I picked her up and she snuffled into my neck and started snoring heartily (one trate she picked up from her dad I wish she had NOT!!!) all the while me telling her how much I loved her with tears poring down my face, I know I know it was probably the alcohol!

But never before have I felt so needed and loved, my heart swelled to such proportions I thought it would burst. Not since my wedding day and the birth of beautiful little C have I felt this way.

I know alcohol induces strong emotions and as a practical non drinker it will effect me more, I feel that with or without it I would have been in floods of tears with a swollen heart for I finally felt like I had been accepted as a mother, and by the one person who I wanted the approval of the most, my daughter and she is only 2, I finally feel like she knows I am doing the very best I can. That I am not just the one who has to administer the discipline in our house and play bad cop to Daddy's good cop, that all the routines we follow are for her good.

Man how is it that someone so little make you feel so much emotion, it is phenomenal what what motherhood can do to you!

I love you my gorgeous little C

Potties and Sleep Deprivation

Well this has been an extraordinary week, to me maybe not others i will explain later But mainly it has been about little C sleeping or not and potty training!!

In my beautiful circle of Mum friends (and believe me they truly are!!) it is the dreaded thing and few were surprised when I said I had started the dreaded potty training, but I have to say so far it has not been to painful.

We have had a potty in house for probably the last 8 months and it has been used for everything you can imagine, on one occasion before it was ever used for its true purpose I walked into the room to find my little C eating her much loved fruit from the pink plastic pot!!

I have on many occasions tripped over the retched pink plastic pot, thankfully never with any pee in it. We have gained a second one to, this one being a chair type number higher off the ground still pink, now there is more to trip over in the dark! this one was given to us by Little C’s much adored Cousin Emma in the vain hope that it would encourage C to try the potty more. so now we have two pink potty’s one includes images of peppa pig.

C did start to use the potty but it was hit and miss she went through a period of time only wanting to sit on it while watching Mr Tumble and if a wee appeared it was by pure fluke and she was just as shocked as we were when it happened.

But the last 6 weeks have been great she has been using it more and more and we invested in a toilet seat and step and we have discovered that she C is a little toilet monster only using the toilet, leaving the two pink pots loitering in the corners of any room C has deemed to move them to.

She is now going to nursery 3 days a week in a pull up due to the length of travel we have to do, Idon’t fancy a pee soaked buggy! and wearing knickers all day and home again in a pull up for the night. Wearing knickers at home and even waking in the night and asking for a wee so we are making good innings on a lengthy process. Maybe one day i will be able to turn the 10 alarms off on my mobile phone that go off every 45 mins flashing up potty time on the days that little C is at home (They are seriously turning me into a dizzy dribbling wreck and make my ears hurt and all my conversations stop!) My husband recently commented to a friend “never has taking a pee been so celebrated” really made me chuckle

Well sleep is another matter we have had a nightmare with our daughter since she went into hospital just after her 1^st birthday with a serious chest infection and breathing difficulties, 3 nights spent in hospital and our little C’s came out of hospital with a mended chest but seriously damaged sleep.

Up until the last month C was waking up on average at least 4 times a night after 12:00pm,being put back in her bed for her to sometimes not fall back to sleep at all. The worst case being trying to get her to sleep for 2 ½ hours for her to end up getting up with me and watch DVD’s and not go to sleep until 1:30 the next afternoon. I was seriously delirious my hubby had to come home from work to calm us both down. That was the day after 3 months of being off her dummy I gave it back to her to save my sanity, as soon as I did she asked to go in her buggy and fell straight to sleep and proceeded to sleep through to the next morning, this was the most extreme.

Recently though things have improved, instead of taking over an hour to get her to sleep or sometimes more she seems to have accepted that she has to go to bed and will willingly get into bed have stories read to her, drink her milk, and what seems like ages of twitching, fidgeting asking for a wee and her new favourite “can i have just a little milky” she gently nods off to her glow worm (the best £10 i have ever spent!). But at any point in the evening we can hear the thundering of tiny elephant feet coming down the hall.

Normally this just means she is still asleep and easily popped back into bed but again an hour down the line she will be up again, we pop her back into bed and another two hours later she will be up again asking for milky and getting quite upset until we give in and give it to her. By 3:30 in the morning she is in our bed kicking the covers off making the hubby and I very cold and pretty naffed off and very tired!!, this on top of the medication I take that makes you tired , the lack of sleep and a lot of pain from a pint size foot being thrust in your eye you get to the stage that I reached, I had to give up work as my arthritis was off the chart and I was going as a mad as a march hare.

While writing this C has been up twice and I anticipating she will be in my bed by 3:00 (not so bad tonight as hubby is on a stag do so leaves us plenty of space). We have tried every combination imaginable to ease the sleep situation and can come to no conclusion as to what is causing it, we can only pinpoint the time it started. Anyone who reads this that as an suggestions please do leave a comment and i will try it out and let you know how it went.

Two good thing that has come from this is my ability to fulfil a dream of starting my cupcake business and boy have things taken a giant leap this week When I have more details I will share but for now Flour & Sprinkles has been born.but I have also had good news from the hospital on my 6 monthly check up at the hospital my specialist was very happy with the improvement in my condition purely down to the medication and giving up work (oh and a lot of steroid injections).